I'm really not sure what I want to do with this blog at the moment. I'm obviously not updating and crap at it but dont' want to close it completely. The Twitter blurb on the right should tell you that I'm still alive and kicking. I'm finally working again after being unemployed for yonks. It's only a 7 week role but it's a start. Hopefully find another role to move into once this contract is up but if not then at least I'll have filled a gap on my CV and I won't look quite so useless.
On top of working I'm also keeping busy with rehearsals for a pantomine I'm performing in next month and getting organised for a play I'll be stage managing too on top of trying to maintain a full and active social life. It's all looking quite busy until December 19th. I was also offered a 2 day intern role in a small theatre company which would have be interesting and beneficial to do but that offer came on the day I started in my new office role meaning I was unable to accept the offer. Typical!
That more of less sums up the past week. October was quite packed and busy for someone who was out of work. I found stuff to do. From volunteering for brain research at a university to taking part and rehearsing for two shows were performed on the same night! How about that for a juggling act. I'm slowly getting back in touch with people I have been planning to catch up with for ages. It's actually proving to be very difficult. Not just me with the busy schedule it seems.
So that's a quick scribble bringing you up to date on various things. I have a job, I have a show to perform, one to stage manage too, I have friends, I have no money, I'm still not over MJ and I haven't seen This Is It in the cinema.
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Friday, 6 November 2009
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Before I Go
Lots on my mind. So much has happened, so much still going on. I don't know what I will or won't address. I don't know if I want/can/need too talk about that. I couldn't possibly describe or talk about these past few months in a coherent way and I don't know if I'll try.
However, I'm off home tomorrow. To do bridemaid dress fitting things and Dad's secret birthday party things. It will be nice to have a break from the city I think. get home and get some fresh air, see my little 13 month old neice who's all grown up since the last time I saw her (at Christmas when she was 5.5 months). I've also had the idea come to me to go for a waddle down to the forest and lough near to where I live and soak up the natureness and stuff. Must pack some trainers then!
Maybe I can organise my thoughts better once I'm back.
(In a nutshell: Still out of work, still without a man, skinnier now, have done some acting work on camera, some photoshoots, lined up two plays to act in and preparing for some other possible shows in the near future too)
However, I'm off home tomorrow. To do bridemaid dress fitting things and Dad's secret birthday party things. It will be nice to have a break from the city I think. get home and get some fresh air, see my little 13 month old neice who's all grown up since the last time I saw her (at Christmas when she was 5.5 months). I've also had the idea come to me to go for a waddle down to the forest and lough near to where I live and soak up the natureness and stuff. Must pack some trainers then!
Maybe I can organise my thoughts better once I'm back.
(In a nutshell: Still out of work, still without a man, skinnier now, have done some acting work on camera, some photoshoots, lined up two plays to act in and preparing for some other possible shows in the near future too)
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Getting Back To It All
We finally have internet in the flat. We've had it for about 5 days now but I still can't get it on my own computer yet so I am couching over Ellie's mac at the moment. We order some thing (techie speak there) to plug into my PC and hopefully onc that is done I should be able to pick up the wireless connection.
I'm hoping I can start to get things back on track now. There's so much to do and sort out with finding work and money etc. I also have an onslaught of emotional stuff to deal with and I've just felt worn out this past month. I'm making someplans in my mind. I'm considering starting a new blog, a better blog maybe (I've recently discovered my friend Jess's blog and it is way more interesting and fun to look at than mine!) and I'm also considering doing some volunteering to stop me from going crazy with boredom in my jobless state. Can't sit indoors wallowing all day long. I need to get active again.
It's a start at least....
I'm hoping I can start to get things back on track now. There's so much to do and sort out with finding work and money etc. I also have an onslaught of emotional stuff to deal with and I've just felt worn out this past month. I'm making someplans in my mind. I'm considering starting a new blog, a better blog maybe (I've recently discovered my friend Jess's blog and it is way more interesting and fun to look at than mine!) and I'm also considering doing some volunteering to stop me from going crazy with boredom in my jobless state. Can't sit indoors wallowing all day long. I need to get active again.
It's a start at least....
Friday, 27 February 2009
The End!
... of my current job today. Maybe the end of an era. I don't have another job lined up just yet and although it's not the ideal situation, I'm trying not to worry to much but stay positive and keep applying and be on the look out for more opportunities. Maybe I'll end up back in the financial sector again in a job that stimulates little but pays reasonable or maybe I'll find something a little more creative this time and have a break from the norm. Come Monday I'll be part of one job agency's "Breafast Temps" group and sitting in their office getting fed, trained and waiting for a phonecall from a company who desperately needs a temp to start work asap. It will mean missing out on such brilliant breakfast TV such as the Jeremy Kyle show (hmmmm) but it has to be done. Can't rot in my flat waiting for the jobs to come to me.
Before all that however, there's the weekend which is shaping up to be a busy one. I've got an audition tonight (dance), an extras casting tomorrow morning/afternoon followed by another audition (musical #1). On Sunday I have an audition for another musical (#2) and possible a callback in the afternoon if I performed well enough on Saturday in musical #1's audition. Fingers crossed something good comes out of all this. With the job ending, crazy neighbours, not being sucessful in other auditions etc. I think it's time something went my way. I have to make it happen!
Before all that however, there's the weekend which is shaping up to be a busy one. I've got an audition tonight (dance), an extras casting tomorrow morning/afternoon followed by another audition (musical #1). On Sunday I have an audition for another musical (#2) and possible a callback in the afternoon if I performed well enough on Saturday in musical #1's audition. Fingers crossed something good comes out of all this. With the job ending, crazy neighbours, not being sucessful in other auditions etc. I think it's time something went my way. I have to make it happen!
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
This Way Up î
With everything being up in the air at the minute (job, accommodation etc) I'm finding it hard to focus on any specific points and write them down. My mood changes hour to hour, day to day. I can start the day off positive and come midday I'm writing emails of despair and frustration and stress to my friends. Or vice-versa. At the moment I'm feeling good but expect that to change, and then change back again.
There's no word yet of a new job to start once my current job ends (on Friday) but I'm trying to not stress out too much about that. I have crazy neighbours that fight with eah other and threaten to commit suicide on my doorstep, yet another sign that I should move. I also went to another audition and despite getting a callback I eventually did not get the part. C'est la vie! I must remain positive despite everything.
I've found a couple of new projects I want to get involved in. Two of them are dance troupes which I will audition for in the upcoming weeks and the third is dance-related too. My friend is throwing a danceathon fundraising event in a couple of weeks and naturally I will be taking part, from helping with the organisation to dancing for hours on end on the night. It's going to be a fun, tiring and interesting evening. I'm hoping that by the time this takes place I will be settled in a new job, new place, ready to get stuck into another rehearsal process and feeling a lot more focused.
There's no word yet of a new job to start once my current job ends (on Friday) but I'm trying to not stress out too much about that. I have crazy neighbours that fight with eah other and threaten to commit suicide on my doorstep, yet another sign that I should move. I also went to another audition and despite getting a callback I eventually did not get the part. C'est la vie! I must remain positive despite everything.
I've found a couple of new projects I want to get involved in. Two of them are dance troupes which I will audition for in the upcoming weeks and the third is dance-related too. My friend is throwing a danceathon fundraising event in a couple of weeks and naturally I will be taking part, from helping with the organisation to dancing for hours on end on the night. It's going to be a fun, tiring and interesting evening. I'm hoping that by the time this takes place I will be settled in a new job, new place, ready to get stuck into another rehearsal process and feeling a lot more focused.
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
The President Obama Blog
I'm a day late but are you surprised? It's quite amazing and touching seeing the world's reaction to this event (the inaugauration) and it's a shame I've been too busy to take it all in properly. I need to YouTube some vids of his speech and swearing in etc.
Right now I'm concentrating lots of moving out. I've made a start sorting through some of the rubbish in the flat and I'm looking a new places to live. I was very inspired after staying over at a friends place and liking her set-up so hopefully I can find something similiar. Once I've moved and settled I can begin to focus on other things, mainly having a social life, dating (no one in particular at the moment) and honing my, currently unimpressive, singing skills.
I finally made it back to Bikram yoga. which was tough, but worth it. I've cut down on the amount of crap I usually eat this week and while staying at my friend's house I discovered a tasty, healthy muesli that even *I* can easily make. I'm hoping that incorporating small changes to my routine will all mount up and benefit me in the long run. I'm determined to get healthy this year. No more colds, flu and hospital stays.
Right now I'm concentrating lots of moving out. I've made a start sorting through some of the rubbish in the flat and I'm looking a new places to live. I was very inspired after staying over at a friends place and liking her set-up so hopefully I can find something similiar. Once I've moved and settled I can begin to focus on other things, mainly having a social life, dating (no one in particular at the moment) and honing my, currently unimpressive, singing skills.
I finally made it back to Bikram yoga. which was tough, but worth it. I've cut down on the amount of crap I usually eat this week and while staying at my friend's house I discovered a tasty, healthy muesli that even *I* can easily make. I'm hoping that incorporating small changes to my routine will all mount up and benefit me in the long run. I'm determined to get healthy this year. No more colds, flu and hospital stays.
Thursday, 15 January 2009
Making A Start
I got a haircut. Nothing drastic but it needed a trim and I had some layers put into it too. I'm happy with it. The photo about doesn't really show much but that's all you're getting. A few strands of hair and my big ol' Michael Jackson hands.
So that's one thing on the To Do list striked off. Hopefully this weekend I'll manage to wash the costumes I borrowed for my last show (even though I don't have a washing machine) and that's another one sorted. I still haven't made a start on clearing out my flat. That's such a big job, I'm a complusive hoarder and I have so much cluttering up the place. Stuff I can't take with me when I move on. Maybe I'll tackle all the bags of clothes that I never use first.... and all the magazines, oh god!
Tomorrow I return to Bikram Yoga. I'm hoping it will help me get back to being fit and healthy. I have all the best intentions but sometimes never put them into practise. I have a 10K run in 4 weeks to prepare for not forgetting my sister's wedding later this year which I have to look gorge for. Time to get off my arse and get moving!
Edit: Grrrr.... my paragraphs aren't paragraphing themselves for some reason.
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Funstuffs
What does one do for fun when money is short? Go into various clothes shops, with a good friend, during the January sales and take the piss out of all the hideous clothing and jewellery that we're expected to buy. Be loud. Lack of discreetion is part of the fun. How I wish I'd taken a photo of the hideous, tacky and plastic jewellery in one shop. Also walk down a busy street and proclaim loudly "How does a mermaid take a poo?" for all to hear. Unfortunately no one on Oxford Street could answer my question.
And that was my Saturday evening. I also saw this which was brill. I love my friends. They are a bunch of fruitloops like me. I have L.J. on email getting me through the work week with her cut-throat one-liners and insults and Ellie at weekends who always laughs at my randomness because she knows the obscure Michael Jackson fan/Saturday Night Live reference behind it. I finding everyone's company pleasurable at the moment. Maybe we're all trying harder because it's January and therefore a depressing time for most so we're putting our best face forward.
Tomorrow, after attending a playreading, I will be dining with another great friend and catching-up lots with her. I expect to draw up another plan to take over the world with as what usually happens when the two of us meet up and are both in good moods. I'm really hoping this enthusiasm for "Life in 2009" lasts throughout this year. I expect it to wear off once we have all fully settled back into life after the holiday season and realised that very little has changed. Maybe I should blog about it as much as possible now to read back on once I think life is being less than spectactular. I need hope this year and lots of it.
And that was my Saturday evening. I also saw this which was brill. I love my friends. They are a bunch of fruitloops like me. I have L.J. on email getting me through the work week with her cut-throat one-liners and insults and Ellie at weekends who always laughs at my randomness because she knows the obscure Michael Jackson fan/Saturday Night Live reference behind it. I finding everyone's company pleasurable at the moment. Maybe we're all trying harder because it's January and therefore a depressing time for most so we're putting our best face forward.
Tomorrow, after attending a playreading, I will be dining with another great friend and catching-up lots with her. I expect to draw up another plan to take over the world with as what usually happens when the two of us meet up and are both in good moods. I'm really hoping this enthusiasm for "Life in 2009" lasts throughout this year. I expect it to wear off once we have all fully settled back into life after the holiday season and realised that very little has changed. Maybe I should blog about it as much as possible now to read back on once I think life is being less than spectactular. I need hope this year and lots of it.
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
Resolutions, Plans & A Different Way Of Looking At Things
I'm still deciding on resolutions. They change from hour-to-hour or I find more I want to do. I need to mentally sort sort what are resolutions and what are actions that need to belong on a "To Do" list instead. The three main action points as as follows:
Sort Out Finances: Pay back money I owe friends and settle bills, get my credit card balance down and start to save again. Yes, I said on this blog many times about sorting out my money but I'm making changes to my circumstances so hopefully I can make a bit of progress on this one now.
Improve Body & Health: Eat more healthily, cut down on sugar, start exercising again, stress less. Since I finished the marathon in April I haven't been looking after myself and have been constantly sick. I'm pretty sure the eye infection wouldn't have been so severe if I hadn't spent the weeks before it barely eating and working myself into the ground. Time to get back to Bikram yoga, dance and running. I've signed up for a 10K run on February 14th which will force to me go out running again instead of just talking about it.
Performing & Confidence: Sing more this year and in public. Be more confident in my performing abilities. I will not let my lack of formal training make me feel that I can't take myself, or any opportunity that may present itself, seriously.
That's about it for now.
There are many small "resolutions" that pop into my head but they more or less fall under the three points above.
Sort Out Finances: Pay back money I owe friends and settle bills, get my credit card balance down and start to save again. Yes, I said on this blog many times about sorting out my money but I'm making changes to my circumstances so hopefully I can make a bit of progress on this one now.
Improve Body & Health: Eat more healthily, cut down on sugar, start exercising again, stress less. Since I finished the marathon in April I haven't been looking after myself and have been constantly sick. I'm pretty sure the eye infection wouldn't have been so severe if I hadn't spent the weeks before it barely eating and working myself into the ground. Time to get back to Bikram yoga, dance and running. I've signed up for a 10K run on February 14th which will force to me go out running again instead of just talking about it.
Performing & Confidence: Sing more this year and in public. Be more confident in my performing abilities. I will not let my lack of formal training make me feel that I can't take myself, or any opportunity that may present itself, seriously.
That's about it for now.
There are many small "resolutions" that pop into my head but they more or less fall under the three points above.
I also have the following "activities" that I want/shall do this year:
- Make jewellery
- Have a colonic
- Go to Stonehenge with L.J. for the Summer Solstice
- Get a piercing
- Get a naff bit-part in a TV drama such as Junkie #5, Prostitute #3 etc.
While I'm contemplating the year ahead I'd like to reflect on 2008 from another point of view. I received and email from a friend earlier mentioning my acomplishments last year which has made me think that perhaps it wasn't such a dismal year after all. Yes, there may have been a cloud of gloom of some sort hanging over me all the time but I have to appreciate that last year I completed a marathon, performed in 5 shows, did stage management, got to work and experience the Edinburgh Fringe Festival all while I continued to make new friends and contacts and had a lot of fun with the friends I already had. Hurrah!
Friday, 2 January 2009
Here At Last
I spent my New Year's Eve in true rock 'n' roll style. I had a friend come over to the flat, I curled up in a sleeping bag, snoozing, sipping on a mug of coke (I only have one glass left and that's for guests!) and watching comedy show after panel show after End-Of-Year list shows until the firworks outside told me it was 12am. I was warm and I didn't have to brave the crowds, idiots and transport of London this time. (I'll party when it's warmer and when I feel better, alright?!!!)
So 2009 is finally here. Hopefully it will be a year of good suprises not bad ones. Despite the economic woes, global warming, ill-bred little fuckfaces and many other negative things I shall remain positive this year and do many weird and wonderful things. And I shall hold on to the remaining 4.5 senses I have left.
Yes, I'm full of the "New Year, New Start" cheer despite spending this morning feeling quite stressed as I had been told the Operations Manager was looking to speak to me and I feared the worst as I had just learned that a member of our team had been fired/let go this morning. However when I bumped into her later in the hallway, she had nothing more to say to me than "Happy New Year". (We think she just wanted to make sure everyone in the team actually bothered to come in to work today). So that drama over I now look forward to the weekend and the chance to start to put plans into practise.
As usual I've made about 50 New Year's resolutions so I'm going to need some time to trim the fat and decide upon a small group of something attainable. I'll report back shortly on that...
So 2009 is finally here. Hopefully it will be a year of good suprises not bad ones. Despite the economic woes, global warming, ill-bred little fuckfaces and many other negative things I shall remain positive this year and do many weird and wonderful things. And I shall hold on to the remaining 4.5 senses I have left.
Yes, I'm full of the "New Year, New Start" cheer despite spending this morning feeling quite stressed as I had been told the Operations Manager was looking to speak to me and I feared the worst as I had just learned that a member of our team had been fired/let go this morning. However when I bumped into her later in the hallway, she had nothing more to say to me than "Happy New Year". (We think she just wanted to make sure everyone in the team actually bothered to come in to work today). So that drama over I now look forward to the weekend and the chance to start to put plans into practise.
As usual I've made about 50 New Year's resolutions so I'm going to need some time to trim the fat and decide upon a small group of something attainable. I'll report back shortly on that...
Thursday, 11 September 2008
Wee Update
I'm still without home internet and out of a job too so I'm hammering out a quick update in an internet cafe while I have the chance.
Lots has gone on since I last wrote. Went to Edinburgh and had an amazing but exhausting time. However 3 days before the end of my trip I was hospitalised with a really bad eye infection. I spent a week in hospital up there and I'm still recovering. The infection (a severe bacterial ulcer on my cornea apparently) has cleared up but there's still a little bit of inflamation. The bad news is that it's left a scar over my cornea that's blurring my vision in that eye and it may never clear up, therefore alway affecting my site in that eye. Time will tell though so I just have to hope it fades enough that it becomes unoticeable. Or, as everyone else keeps telling me, I could havea cornea transplant. *shudder*
So fingers crossed. I'm going to eat better and take vitamins and also trying not to stress about being jobless (they ended it while I was in hospital!!!!) and money so I make as best a recovery as possible.
Right, back to the jobhunt. I SHOULD have home internet soon (it's BT though so don't count on it. I've only had this problem for 2 months now.) then I can write more about Edinburgh. The good stuff!
Lots has gone on since I last wrote. Went to Edinburgh and had an amazing but exhausting time. However 3 days before the end of my trip I was hospitalised with a really bad eye infection. I spent a week in hospital up there and I'm still recovering. The infection (a severe bacterial ulcer on my cornea apparently) has cleared up but there's still a little bit of inflamation. The bad news is that it's left a scar over my cornea that's blurring my vision in that eye and it may never clear up, therefore alway affecting my site in that eye. Time will tell though so I just have to hope it fades enough that it becomes unoticeable. Or, as everyone else keeps telling me, I could havea cornea transplant. *shudder*
So fingers crossed. I'm going to eat better and take vitamins and also trying not to stress about being jobless (they ended it while I was in hospital!!!!) and money so I make as best a recovery as possible.
Right, back to the jobhunt. I SHOULD have home internet soon (it's BT though so don't count on it. I've only had this problem for 2 months now.) then I can write more about Edinburgh. The good stuff!
Friday, 8 August 2008
Escape From London
I'm off tomorrow to stage manage my friend's show in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Hoping I don't screw up. I've only SMed one show before and it was on a much smaller scale to this one. Also finding the thought of two weeks off work and away from London quite daunting. There's still lots to do here and I should keep working and saving but I agreed to this a long time ago so there's no backing out now.
I might even learn to relax and bit and my insides might begin to feel better. These past couple of months have been upsetting and stressful and hopefully I can begin to sort things out now and relax a bit and move on. Yay! It's my birthday too in a couple of days (tasty Birthday dinner tonight!) so New Start, New Life and all that jazz. Looking forward to moving on jobwise. I need to do something that will not leave me frustratly in tears and wanting to rip my fingernails out!
I'm going to invest in some serious yoga classes when I get back. Partly to calm down and get my health back on track and pratly to prepare for my next role onstage as a glamourous lesbian!
Next blog: Edinburgh! :-)
I might even learn to relax and bit and my insides might begin to feel better. These past couple of months have been upsetting and stressful and hopefully I can begin to sort things out now and relax a bit and move on. Yay! It's my birthday too in a couple of days (tasty Birthday dinner tonight!) so New Start, New Life and all that jazz. Looking forward to moving on jobwise. I need to do something that will not leave me frustratly in tears and wanting to rip my fingernails out!
I'm going to invest in some serious yoga classes when I get back. Partly to calm down and get my health back on track and pratly to prepare for my next role onstage as a glamourous lesbian!
Next blog: Edinburgh! :-)
Monday, 30 June 2008
Fit And Fun?
The final blog for June and I wish it was one that made sense.
I'm in a weird place at the moment. I don't know if I'm happy or sad and it feels strange.
Well, that seems to be as much as I can say on that. Onto general stuff. Had a sociable weekend filled with rehearsals, a production meeting, a birthday dinner and a glam night out at a burlesque party. Although the party did reinforce the fact that I need to lose weight again. I could curse my job ending backing in April as it threw me off my healthy, running routine. Now I need to relcaim my toned marathon bod despite lacking the desire to actually move. However, I shall because I have an eventful two months ahead that I want to look good for. A few bikram yoga sessions and a couple of runs will get me back to my old self. It will be a welcome relief to get that feeling of energy and health back as I've spent this entire month feeling crap and run-down. I'm making myelf eat more fruit (and a little veg) and will cut out the fizzy drinks. Well, I'll try.
Life Interuptions SUCK. Here's to a fit and theatrical July.
(BTW: There are some naughty burlesque pics of me and my friend online. Go find 'em!)
I'm in a weird place at the moment. I don't know if I'm happy or sad and it feels strange.
Well, that seems to be as much as I can say on that. Onto general stuff. Had a sociable weekend filled with rehearsals, a production meeting, a birthday dinner and a glam night out at a burlesque party. Although the party did reinforce the fact that I need to lose weight again. I could curse my job ending backing in April as it threw me off my healthy, running routine. Now I need to relcaim my toned marathon bod despite lacking the desire to actually move. However, I shall because I have an eventful two months ahead that I want to look good for. A few bikram yoga sessions and a couple of runs will get me back to my old self. It will be a welcome relief to get that feeling of energy and health back as I've spent this entire month feeling crap and run-down. I'm making myelf eat more fruit (and a little veg) and will cut out the fizzy drinks. Well, I'll try.
Life Interuptions SUCK. Here's to a fit and theatrical July.
(BTW: There are some naughty burlesque pics of me and my friend online. Go find 'em!)
Friday, 23 May 2008
Some Things Change
Okay, so things aren't as bad as I made them out to be in the previous post. Yes, I'm still despairing about something in particular and I'm too scared to look at my bank statement to see how little money I have after being out of work for 4 weeks... but there have been some improvements.
I started the new job on Wednesday which is a relief! It's nothing special, it seems to involve organising a lot of meetings and interviews which doesn't thrill me but I'm happy enough to do it for a short while and maybe look for something else after July/August. I'm just glad to be EARNING again.
After I left the internet cafe on Sunday I received a voicemail from the director of the play I tired out for offering me a part. It's a very small part but I'm still happy to do it. Especially as most of the parts went to friends whom I've worked with before so this should be good fun. It'll be a nice way to spend July. I want to get cast in a bigger, chunkier role in something soon so I'm still having a look around for future production and hopefully something will come up.
I've discovered a new shop close to my new job that I love (www.fatface.com) and as soon as I have the money I'm going to shop 'til I drop in there. It's hella cute! I already spotted a cute pair of pumps that I wanted but when I went back after to purchase them I found out the some WHORESLUTWENCH had beaten me to it. I was dismayed. But not for long. The lovely staff phoned around and found another branch that stocked them in my size. I'm just waiting for the call to go pick them up. Lovely.
I really want my computer fixed. There's so much I want to do.
I started the new job on Wednesday which is a relief! It's nothing special, it seems to involve organising a lot of meetings and interviews which doesn't thrill me but I'm happy enough to do it for a short while and maybe look for something else after July/August. I'm just glad to be EARNING again.
After I left the internet cafe on Sunday I received a voicemail from the director of the play I tired out for offering me a part. It's a very small part but I'm still happy to do it. Especially as most of the parts went to friends whom I've worked with before so this should be good fun. It'll be a nice way to spend July. I want to get cast in a bigger, chunkier role in something soon so I'm still having a look around for future production and hopefully something will come up.
I've discovered a new shop close to my new job that I love (www.fatface.com) and as soon as I have the money I'm going to shop 'til I drop in there. It's hella cute! I already spotted a cute pair of pumps that I wanted but when I went back after to purchase them I found out the some WHORESLUTWENCH had beaten me to it. I was dismayed. But not for long. The lovely staff phoned around and found another branch that stocked them in my size. I'm just waiting for the call to go pick them up. Lovely.
I really want my computer fixed. There's so much I want to do.
Monday, 17 March 2008
Another New Focus
This morning, while I was brushing my teeth, I decided that I am going to write a play. It sounds like such a simple decision to have made but carrying out the task in hand will be very interesting/difficult. I've been thinking a lot about doing some writing in recent months inspired by attending rehearsed readings of my friend's plays and taking part in the the "home-made" musical recently and meeting aspiring writers through that. I used to write in my early teens and then I stopped. I think that's when I tried to become a songwriter so my focus changed.
I decided to be more commited to reading books as I believed that "ingesting" new words would help me become a better writer. I'm still trying to commit fully to this but I'm getting there. I've started reading 4 books since the start of the year so now I am forcing myself to stick to one at a time and to not start/buy anymore books until that one is finished. It didn't work, I bought another 3 on Friday but I can always try again. This pretty much sums me up. Always flitting between a couple of projects, never pausing on one long enough. Then a new idea comes along and I get carried awy with that and other things in my life are set aside and then maybe I come back to them later. Now it's happening again.
So this morning as I was getting ready for work I was thinking about one of my theatre groups and how the writing stages of the next play we are producing are almost completed (by the woman who was the make-up artist on our last show) and the idea just came to me. Why not write something for the group to consider as a third production? I am a creative person and I must be able to dig deep and come up with a funny, quirky and smart little play, re-write it, present it to the group and even if it's not chosen to be a future production, it's still mine. All mine. So this goes onto the mental "Things To Do In 2008" list. Now all I need is an idea to get started with.....
I decided to be more commited to reading books as I believed that "ingesting" new words would help me become a better writer. I'm still trying to commit fully to this but I'm getting there. I've started reading 4 books since the start of the year so now I am forcing myself to stick to one at a time and to not start/buy anymore books until that one is finished. It didn't work, I bought another 3 on Friday but I can always try again. This pretty much sums me up. Always flitting between a couple of projects, never pausing on one long enough. Then a new idea comes along and I get carried awy with that and other things in my life are set aside and then maybe I come back to them later. Now it's happening again.
So this morning as I was getting ready for work I was thinking about one of my theatre groups and how the writing stages of the next play we are producing are almost completed (by the woman who was the make-up artist on our last show) and the idea just came to me. Why not write something for the group to consider as a third production? I am a creative person and I must be able to dig deep and come up with a funny, quirky and smart little play, re-write it, present it to the group and even if it's not chosen to be a future production, it's still mine. All mine. So this goes onto the mental "Things To Do In 2008" list. Now all I need is an idea to get started with.....
Friday, 29 February 2008
Filling The Void
With the musical over and my leg feeling better and me getting some energy back into this body, my thoughts can now fully turn too the near future. Not that I've ever NOT thought about what's coming up next in my life but I've survived nearly two weeks with rehearsals or performing so I think I can last just a little longer.
I've already got two shows in mind that I want to work on (well, 3 actually but as the director of that play is slowly recovering from an illness, we're still a little unsure if his show is still going ahead). The first is a musical and the auditions are this Sunday. It will certainly be an interesting audition as I haven't set foot back into their rehearsals rooms since I had the Worst Audition Ever there 18 months ago and for 1 minute I decided to give up performance as I momentarily believed that I'd never be any good. Obviously I got over that and went on to bigger and brighter things and I will have to take those with me into the audition room this weekend and gain strentgh from that. I've sung in public now, on stage, in front of maybe 300-ish people altogether and I didn't die. Nothing bad happened. I even surprised a few people who didn't know I could sing. So I have nothing to be afraid of this Sunday. I can sing in front of others, I have a good audition song and I know I can sing it well. I just have to hope ghosts of auditions past don't show up.
The next show is a play with a company I have not yet worked with. The character I am very interested in has been described as "bonkers yet fiesty" which sounds like something I could easily do. The audition's not for another couple of weeks so I've got time to psycho myself up for it and practise a bit of self-hypnosis and "big up" myself.
In the meantime I seem to be keeping myself busy with training, piano lessons, theatre trips (and the Alicia Keys concert tonight!) and other random interests. I'm giving serious consideration to seperate acting and singing courses that I think will be a big help to me. I'm also keen to get writing again, just for fun, so I'm reading a lot more than usual and am looking out for a creative writing workshop/course to help me get started again. There seems to be so much I want to do right now and even though there is now show looming on the horizon, I still seem to be short of time to get everything done. I like it though. Maybe I'm compensating for lacking something else in my life but I like to constantly move forward and aim towards something. The marathon is a huge goal to work towards yet I'm still not satisfied by that. The creative side of me needs to keep moving at all times. Even in times of rest.
I've already got two shows in mind that I want to work on (well, 3 actually but as the director of that play is slowly recovering from an illness, we're still a little unsure if his show is still going ahead). The first is a musical and the auditions are this Sunday. It will certainly be an interesting audition as I haven't set foot back into their rehearsals rooms since I had the Worst Audition Ever there 18 months ago and for 1 minute I decided to give up performance as I momentarily believed that I'd never be any good. Obviously I got over that and went on to bigger and brighter things and I will have to take those with me into the audition room this weekend and gain strentgh from that. I've sung in public now, on stage, in front of maybe 300-ish people altogether and I didn't die. Nothing bad happened. I even surprised a few people who didn't know I could sing. So I have nothing to be afraid of this Sunday. I can sing in front of others, I have a good audition song and I know I can sing it well. I just have to hope ghosts of auditions past don't show up.
The next show is a play with a company I have not yet worked with. The character I am very interested in has been described as "bonkers yet fiesty" which sounds like something I could easily do. The audition's not for another couple of weeks so I've got time to psycho myself up for it and practise a bit of self-hypnosis and "big up" myself.
In the meantime I seem to be keeping myself busy with training, piano lessons, theatre trips (and the Alicia Keys concert tonight!) and other random interests. I'm giving serious consideration to seperate acting and singing courses that I think will be a big help to me. I'm also keen to get writing again, just for fun, so I'm reading a lot more than usual and am looking out for a creative writing workshop/course to help me get started again. There seems to be so much I want to do right now and even though there is now show looming on the horizon, I still seem to be short of time to get everything done. I like it though. Maybe I'm compensating for lacking something else in my life but I like to constantly move forward and aim towards something. The marathon is a huge goal to work towards yet I'm still not satisfied by that. The creative side of me needs to keep moving at all times. Even in times of rest.
Thursday, 31 January 2008
The Last Day of the Month
I'm feeling quite happy about leaving January behind and moving on. It's been such a rollercoaster month full of (brief) happiness and sadness, frustration, anticipation, disappointment, inspiration etc. Now I'm looking forward to staying focused on a couple of projects and to grow and develop more as a person and a performer.
In February I will sort out my finances so I'm not always stressing out about them in the back of my mind. I will begin proper training for the London Marathon with my personal trainer. Until now I'm been making do with jogs here and there and yoga class but I need to train harder now so I am as prepared as I can be. It will cost a lot (the trainer) but it will be worth it. I will perform in my show. It's a silly, non-serious, fun role but I shall perform it as best I can and learn and develope more as a performer. I will hopefully become more relaxed on stage so I can perform better and show people (and myself) just exactly what I can do.
I also need some time to seriously consider some courses and classes I am interested in. I need to judge if they will be value for money and how they will benefit me in the long run. So lots of thinking and doing coming up in the next month.
In February I will sort out my finances so I'm not always stressing out about them in the back of my mind. I will begin proper training for the London Marathon with my personal trainer. Until now I'm been making do with jogs here and there and yoga class but I need to train harder now so I am as prepared as I can be. It will cost a lot (the trainer) but it will be worth it. I will perform in my show. It's a silly, non-serious, fun role but I shall perform it as best I can and learn and develope more as a performer. I will hopefully become more relaxed on stage so I can perform better and show people (and myself) just exactly what I can do.
I also need some time to seriously consider some courses and classes I am interested in. I need to judge if they will be value for money and how they will benefit me in the long run. So lots of thinking and doing coming up in the next month.
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
Time for Change
January has been a funny and confusing month which is unusual for me. I don't tend to get that depressed in January like everyone else does. While I enjoy the festive season, I'm eager for things to get back to normal so I can get on with achieving and doing much in my life, especially as every year I say to myself "This is THEE year, when everything will happen for me". Nothing really does happen but I believe it in that moment.
My current job has been trunddling along nicely and even though I'm understimulated in the workplace, it's not a place I dread to be when Sunday evenings roll around. I have noticed that this past week I have been sitting here slowly getting more and more miserable and frustrated with being rooted to one spot for so long each day when there's so much to do out there. I appreciate my job for the money it brings in and what it pays for and I've made no secret that I hope my contract will be renewed, but right now I want something to change. I need to use my time more productively. I have friends in jobs that they WANT to do, have trained for or is a step closer to where they want to be and meanwhile I'm still pissing aorund entering reams of data and chasing up people for uncompleted reports. I've done this for such a long time and all I'm doing is wasting my time and nothing frustrates me more.
On a smaller scale, I've also been thinking about where I live, if I could/should move etc. And study. And travel too. I need to sort my finances and then make some decisions this year.
I blame the recent trip to the palmreader for this. And life.
Btw: I hate T-Mobile. Go visit. ;-)
My current job has been trunddling along nicely and even though I'm understimulated in the workplace, it's not a place I dread to be when Sunday evenings roll around. I have noticed that this past week I have been sitting here slowly getting more and more miserable and frustrated with being rooted to one spot for so long each day when there's so much to do out there. I appreciate my job for the money it brings in and what it pays for and I've made no secret that I hope my contract will be renewed, but right now I want something to change. I need to use my time more productively. I have friends in jobs that they WANT to do, have trained for or is a step closer to where they want to be and meanwhile I'm still pissing aorund entering reams of data and chasing up people for uncompleted reports. I've done this for such a long time and all I'm doing is wasting my time and nothing frustrates me more.
On a smaller scale, I've also been thinking about where I live, if I could/should move etc. And study. And travel too. I need to sort my finances and then make some decisions this year.
I blame the recent trip to the palmreader for this. And life.
Btw: I hate T-Mobile. Go visit. ;-)
Friday, 4 January 2008
Life in the New Year
Time for me to update this mofo! I began writing a blog on the night I came back to London but for some reason lost to will to finish it and crashed out on the sofa instead. I should have been welcoming Sergio into my new flat the following day, but due to a problem with his passport (it went missing for 3 hours) he arrived 24 hours later than planned on the Sunday.
It's been a lot of fun having him here. Although we haven't done many activties, we have been pissing around and talking rubbish and cracking ourselves up laughing at things that are only funny to us. We are planning a couple of theatre trips and dinner with friends while he is here.
New Years was spent with us making it to the Sounth Bank at 11:50pm and ending us wedged in the crowds of thousands. The crush got quite bad at one point and it was quite scary however, we survived and while trying to get out I got groped and kissed a few time by guys taking their chances with a girl who arms were wedge by her sides. Nice. We reached the Imax theatre and decided to keep walking in the opposite direction away from the crowds, perverts and the fights beaking out. We reached London Bridge and met up with a couple of guys from my play so got a few more "Happy New Year" wishes from them, then we headed home (thank God for 24 hours transport) for tea and toast. I can't remember what we did on New Years Day. Worring because I don't drink so can't blame it one alcohol.
Now things are getting back to pre-Christmas normality. Have been back at work for a couple of days now and rehearsals for the next show are ressuming tonight. Life will still feel a bit different as Sergio will be here so won't be getting back to my normal routine until the 18th. I haven't got around to thinking properly about Resolutions and I don't know if I'll bother this year. I've not felt well this week so all I need is a weekendful of sleep and too feel more human and then I can think about it more.
It's been a lot of fun having him here. Although we haven't done many activties, we have been pissing around and talking rubbish and cracking ourselves up laughing at things that are only funny to us. We are planning a couple of theatre trips and dinner with friends while he is here.
New Years was spent with us making it to the Sounth Bank at 11:50pm and ending us wedged in the crowds of thousands. The crush got quite bad at one point and it was quite scary however, we survived and while trying to get out I got groped and kissed a few time by guys taking their chances with a girl who arms were wedge by her sides. Nice. We reached the Imax theatre and decided to keep walking in the opposite direction away from the crowds, perverts and the fights beaking out. We reached London Bridge and met up with a couple of guys from my play so got a few more "Happy New Year" wishes from them, then we headed home (thank God for 24 hours transport) for tea and toast. I can't remember what we did on New Years Day. Worring because I don't drink so can't blame it one alcohol.
Now things are getting back to pre-Christmas normality. Have been back at work for a couple of days now and rehearsals for the next show are ressuming tonight. Life will still feel a bit different as Sergio will be here so won't be getting back to my normal routine until the 18th. I haven't got around to thinking properly about Resolutions and I don't know if I'll bother this year. I've not felt well this week so all I need is a weekendful of sleep and too feel more human and then I can think about it more.
Friday, 10 August 2007
Chaos & Disorder
...is how I'd best describe my life at the moment. And it's not coincidence that this blog title also happens to be the title of a Prince song. Last Saturday me & my friends spent a very enjoyable 2 hours in the presence of the man and his guitar. And his cool little headband. If you're in London over the next 5 weeks make sure to get a ticket to his show. This man is so cool, he is the sex and I want to be him. I loved it so much, me & Ellie are now planning to go back several times (next Saturday included) and have even booked ourselves som tickets for an aftershow party too. Hey funky London indeed!
A little era is coming to an end soon as I have to move out of my flat next week, most likely next Sunday when we crawl back home after the Prince aftershow. Maybe the lack of sleep will make things easier. I have reluctantly began packing up all my stuff and am still facing the daunting task of wading through all the crap I have accumulated over the year and being ruthless with what I decide to keep and throw out. Why was I born a hoarder?
I'm trying to be philosophical about it all. Yes, it's an opportunity the clear out all the rubbish cluttering up my mind and my life and start afresh. With my birthday tomorrow, I'm looking at it all as a new era now. I've been reading in various horoscopes about this time in my (Leos) life being the end of a troubling 2 year priod and that pesky Saturn will be leaving my sign (on September 2nd) and it's departure should bring better times. While I always think horoscopes are a bit of fun and take them with a pinch of salt, I will admit that the past 2 years HAVE been difficult and a lot of worries and frustration have arose in that time. Even if this Saturn stuff is complete bollocks, it's encouraging to see something else out there pointing in the same direction of where I am right now and where I hope to be in life. Maybe everything's meant to be this way for a reason... Please God (or whomever), don't let me still be in the exact same place as I am now in 12 months time!
Right, enough of this wishy-washy life-changing guff. Wish me a Happy Birthday and send me money!!! ;-)
A little era is coming to an end soon as I have to move out of my flat next week, most likely next Sunday when we crawl back home after the Prince aftershow. Maybe the lack of sleep will make things easier. I have reluctantly began packing up all my stuff and am still facing the daunting task of wading through all the crap I have accumulated over the year and being ruthless with what I decide to keep and throw out. Why was I born a hoarder?
I'm trying to be philosophical about it all. Yes, it's an opportunity the clear out all the rubbish cluttering up my mind and my life and start afresh. With my birthday tomorrow, I'm looking at it all as a new era now. I've been reading in various horoscopes about this time in my (Leos) life being the end of a troubling 2 year priod and that pesky Saturn will be leaving my sign (on September 2nd) and it's departure should bring better times. While I always think horoscopes are a bit of fun and take them with a pinch of salt, I will admit that the past 2 years HAVE been difficult and a lot of worries and frustration have arose in that time. Even if this Saturn stuff is complete bollocks, it's encouraging to see something else out there pointing in the same direction of where I am right now and where I hope to be in life. Maybe everything's meant to be this way for a reason... Please God (or whomever), don't let me still be in the exact same place as I am now in 12 months time!
Right, enough of this wishy-washy life-changing guff. Wish me a Happy Birthday and send me money!!! ;-)
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