BEDA Day Twenty Three: Almost There

There's only one more day to get through and then it is the weekend and then I can sleep and be happy. This week has dragged. Probably because it's the first 5 day week I've worked for a while. I'm bladdy tired and I regret signing up for BEDA now because all I want to do is dry my hair and go to sleep but I've got the write first. When will it end?

BEDA Day Twenty: Sorry!

I'm still extremely tired. How long until the weekend? I have no energy but so much to do.

BEDA Day Sixteen: So Sleepy

Oooooh it's late and I almost forgot to blog. Need to sleep soon. My emotions have been all over the place lately so I enjoy sleeping and taking a break from them all. Hopefully I can the energy to get through Friday. L.J. is staying over tomorrow so that will be hella fun. Weeeeee!

BEDA Day Eleven: No Day But Today 2

I'm just back from seeing Rent for a second time and feeling slightly emotional. Bear with me while I try to explain it. One of the reasons is realising that I won't be able to see Rent tomorrow as the run has now ended. It's one of my favourite musicals and only now have I been able to see it on stage. So it sounds funny but I enjoyed watching it so much and now I'll have to wait for another company to produce it, god knows when!

One the train home from the theatre I got into quite a serious and honest conversation with my friend. I won't go into too much details but it did involved headspace and future plans leaving me with some deep thorts to think about. Tiring isn't it? Made even more tiring but not having any proper sleep for the past 10 days so I can't process my thoughts properly. I haven't had the chance to catch up this week as I've had to get up and about to get things done. it doesn't always go according to plan.The flat viewing we had today and was rescheduled and then cancelled and we're now trying to reschedule for next week. I bet the agent had a heavy night and just couldn't be bothered leaving the house. Boo!

BEDA Day Nine: Oh I Really Can't Be Arsed!

It's late. I'm tired. I need to cook my friend's pizza.

Went to work. Had mini chocolate eggs hidden around my desk. Learnt more of the job. Went to friend's birthday drinks. Everyone was dressed all trendy and I was in my work clothes. Not that I mattered. I didn't stay too long. Went home via Sainsburys.

I now have a chocolate caramel cake to devour.

BEDA Day Eight: Too Tired To Care

Oh my God, I am so tired and can't think and am in no fit state to write something. I was going to out-angst L.J. but I don't have the energy. Like her, I need to sort myself out big time. Roll on the Bank Holiday weekend when I can sleep, eat and sleep some more.

I'm not going to worry too much about the job when I take it over properly next week. I have been told that if in doubt about anything, talk to the recruiters. I get the feeling I will be firing lots of questions their way in the next few weeks. Oh well, it it makes life a little bit easier then hooray.

Right, I'm off to have a cup of tea, a bath and to tidy the flat. I want to sleeeeeeeep.

Made It Back

Rolled into the coach station at 6:15 this morning. Dropped my bags off at the flat then went straight onto work so getting through today was bloody hard work. I was helped by a caramel machiatto in the morning and a late lunch/shopping trip/hot chocolate and catch-up with a friend who works nearby.

I'm completely dazed at the moment so have no idea is this makes any sense. I've been dozing all evening and got nothing done so I think I should just go to sleep now and wake up earlier than usual to wash & tidy flat. I wouldn't bother with the flat but my New Year's Even plans involved going to the cinema with a friend and then back to mine to watch DVDs/surf the net probably. It's going to be too cold to go out tomorrow night so why not ring in the New Year in comfort and cosy dressing-gown style.

Food & Sleep

What more could a Mel want?

Not long back from the theatre after our second show and I'm sitting here with a big bowl of pasta and a cuppa tea. Niiiiice. Trying to ignore the fact that I've got a 9am conference call to Singapore in the morn and wondering if I'll get in trouble with my manager tomorrow for not making it stupidly obvious to someone to save a report as .xls and not .csv.

I'm so glad to be performing the show even though I'm completely knackered and have no time to do anything. The rehearsals were soul destroying, we had to replace one cast member as he's currently stranded in Italy and not allowed back into the UK due to visa issues and another cast member pulled out on Sunday. With such short notice the only way to get around that is to have his character played, via one cast member, by a hand puppet and voiced by another cast member. Crazy! Despite everything, we're having fun doing the show for real. Even when there's more cast members than audience as was the case tonight. We got through it as best we could. We've got six more shows to do so hopefully we'll get larger audiences (opening night was good). We've got the weekend shows coming up so people will be happier to stay out late in the knowledge that they won't have to get up for work.

Speaking of which, time I hit the sack. I've been getting no more than five hours sleep every night this week so I'm going to try for six tonight. I love sleep. And sleep loves me!

Doing Stuff & Feeling Tired

Despite a promising early night on Friday the rest of my weekend was spent burning the candle at both ends and I am now quite knackered which is not good considering I'm performing this Wednesday - Saturday.

The weekend was spent attending various rehearsals for my own play and the musical I'll be working on in Edinburgh next month. In between those rehearsals and beyong I did a lot of socialising with cast members of both shows. Saturday night was spent in a swanky flat in London getting drunk on half a glass of champagne (I'm teetotal, it's not that hard), being pleasured by a massage chair and discovering my superb table football skills. I got home that night and had an admirable 7 hours sleep before I was back up and travelling to the theatre for our tech rehearsal.

After the tech ended earlier than usual I made my way over to the musical rehearsals and got to see the whole show performed which was a lot of fun. This is a fab show and I'd have loved to been part of it. Instead of being sensible by going home to wash a weeks worth of clothes and having an early night, I spent it in the pub downstairs with the guys from that cast, being loud and smutty as usual. I stuck to soft drinks and tea this time.

The fun never stops, as both shows are opening on Wednesday I've got a play dress rehearsal tonight and musical rehearsal tomorrow. If I could fit in a run somewhere that would be great (I'm feeling chubby at the moment) but it's not looking likely. Roll on Saturday and the chance to get some serious sleep!

Home From Home

I've been back all week but only writing now. I've not hada great week mentally and it's too tiring to go into details to even begin to explain what it's all about. It's a mixture of general tiredness plus having an awkward chat with my manager at work and then having an audition on Tuesday that I got really excited about, then disappointment as I probably won't get the part (in one of six small plays that will make up one whole show). Yes, I should be more positive and I know I did a good audition but the director has seen a few good people for this part and some of them, like me, he is friends with. I'm preparing myself for the worst anyway. In a nutshell tiredness + money woes + job woes + wanting something = crazy, tired, down in the dumps brain. However, I'm feeling a little better now.

This time last week I was back home and bonding with my newborn niece. I got to nurse her and feed her and helped my sister wash her. It's odd to think that my sister has a baby and I think it still hasn't sunk in for her too. I still have no desire to have children yet. Even though I couldn't stop staring at my niece and and fussing over her I'm still quite content to only have myself to look after. I took lots of pics but my suster has requested that I don't post any on the internet (on Bebo, Facebook etc.) and even though she doens't know about this blog I'll not chance it. So if you're a friend and a reeeeally interested then you can email me.

Dublin

Final show tomorrow night and then on Sunday I'm off to Dublin for 3 days. I was supposed to be going to a Prince concert but the promoters cancelled (apparently they sold tickets before he'd even signed a contract) and have therefore buggered everything up for us. It's such bad timing at the moment as I don't have a lot of money and really need to keep working, but everything is booked and other people are excited to go so I'll go on the trip and then worry about finances when I get back.

Sucks that it has to be this way but can't be bitter about it otherwise I won't enjoy myself. I might get the chance to visit pregnant Sister. She might even give birth while I'm there!

So that's the plan for the next few days. Looking forward to having a lie in tomorrow and catching up on some sleep before I head of fto the theatre. I and so ill and tired, it's beyond belief.

Cheeky Blog From Work

Thought I jot something down here before I leave in 5 minutes. Sadly I can't say that my first blog of the month is anything insightful or exciting. I have been in an odd mood recently and extremely tired, no matter how much rest I get. I've been working by myself that past couple of days (my co-worker is on holiday) and it's been quite rough at times. It's a very busy job and one were I am dependent on others bothering to get back to me with availability in their diaries, accepting meeting invited I send out etc. Half the job is do-able, it's the other half that causing problems and holding up the rest of my work.

My manager is aware of the problem and understands. So I can only do as much as I can and is osme interviews don't get booked until the following week... well that's the way it is. I've been talking to myself today, trying to be more positive. I might be getting there, I just need to take care of a couple of things first and to get some rest. I think the stress of the past month, learnign the new job and other unmentionable factors have just wore me down in the end. I can't take time off work and it's too busy here to do so and my evenings are busy with rehearsals, for the plays I'm acting in and stage managing. Next week is the run of one of these plays so most of my time will be spent doing my stage manager duties. After that's over I'll head to Dublin to do some Prince worshipping. That counts towards rest, doesn't it?

God I hope my life becomes more interesting soon.

Almost A Working Girl Again

So I kinda, almost have a new job now. After what happened with the last job offer I'm not confirming it until I walk into reception on Monday morning and get my ID badge. It's not the job of my dreams and it's in a new location (so I have to search for a new gym/yoga studio/beauty salon) which is annoying but it's money and it's better to have anything right now than nothing. (I've also been put forward for a job that pays more so fingers crossed I get that one and can do some payrate bartering with New Job) Now I can begin to sort out my life. I've done nothing on the list below, and it's getting on my nerves now. I can feel the chubbiness creep back on. I need to get my Run on.

In the meantime I'm doing a 1 day job at a design company tomorrow. They want my Powerpoint skills. Hilarious, because although I always do really well on job agency's compentency tests, I've not used it that much in my working life and I'm worried that they're expecting some presentations whizz-kid to come in and hammer something out in a flash. I've got a Teach Yourself Powerpoint book at home so shall have a look at that tonight and try to cram as much knowledge in as possible.

This keyboard sucks and this internet cafe is so dirty. I'll be reaching for the Wet Ones as soon as I leave.

Ouch!

I came, I saw, I conquered the 16 mile race yesterday. And I did it on 2.5 hours sleep. I got invited to see Hairspray at the last minute the night before so I was late getting home from that. The clocks going forward one hour didn't help matters, not when I had a taxi booked for 6am to take me to the train station. Somehow I managed to wake up and get myself to the start line.

I joined the Run-Walk pacer and ran it that group which was a big help. If I felt tired running I couldn't give up as easily as I would if I had been runing on my own. I was able to push myself and when it got really tough in the last mile and few words of encouragement was able to spur me on, especially in the last 50 metres when I was approaching the finish line. My right leg doesn't feel too healthy today (but I won't worry about that yet) but I'm glad I did it and pushed myself. I know I can do 16 miles now, I just need to worry about the final 10 come marathon day.

Now I'm back in the real world, back at work and time to focus on other things for a few hours.

Eat, Sleep, Run

I'm feeling quite bright and perky this morning, probably helped by the fact that it's a Friday and Fridays are always good. I have spent this week working, training and sleeping and not much else. I had no social engagements and even decided not to go to the audition for the play I'm interested in (I can still audition on Sunday) in favour of getting home nad relaxing in front of the TV with a nice bowl of Red Thai beef curry. My body was crying out for that all week (subcousciously telling me I need more iron in my diet maybe?) so I listened and had a very tasty Thursday evening in.

I've been feeling very sleepy all week despite getting a reasonable amount of sleep. My trianing must now be taking it's toll on me so all I can do now is eat well and sleep well. How did I ever manage to work full-time, training and perform in 6 shows only 4 weeks ago. I was tired then but I wasn't as sleepy as I feel at the moment. I guess that's just the way my body responds to a lot of exercise.

I've signed up for a 16 mile run at the end of the month so how I cope with that will be very interesting and will gve me and idea of how I'll cope with the marathon itself. I'm going to look after myself and train well in the meantime and hopefully that run will go well and build up my confidence for running the actual marathon 2 weeks later. Fingers crossed. I've been talking all about this non-stop to everyone and I'm sure they must be bored. I bought my running shoes and heart rate monitor on Monday and when I got home my official London Marathon magazine was waiting for me full of information on the race day. So now I'm packed full of information and it's all I ever talk about now. It's probably for the best - a feat this big, I NEED to get obsessed about it.

Homeward Bound

I have just decided in the past 20 mins to travel back home for the holidays tomorrow, rather than leave it to Saturday or Sunday night. I think the main reason is that right now I feel absolutely knackered and I just want to get on that bus with my iPods and spend the next 12 hours snoozing and listening to music on my way to the ferry depot. It also means that hopefully Saturday (night) should be quite chilled at home as most of the family will be out socialising so I can relax a little bit and watch the Strictly Come Dancing Final. Plus arriving on Saturday morning instead of Sunday/Monday morning makes it less of a flying visit (as I'll be coming back to London on Friday night) so less chance for my mother to make me feel guilty about not visiting enough.

However, I feel so depressed at the thought of returning back to the chaos and disorder that we've built our family and home upon. God give me strength.

The Aftermath

It had been my plan to update the blog much sooner but I was ill for over a week straight after finishing my play. I wasn't sleeping well, having trouble breathing and the thought of eating food made me feel sick. So I've managed to lose another 6lbs in the process of not eating yet still having to zip around London, working, shopping, socialising etc. so now my appitite is returning, I will need to get back into the gym.

Where it not for the 2 hours of sleep I had the Sunday before last, then I woud have wrote about finishing our run of plays and the aftershow party. A party that involved a group of us staying in the theatre until 5:30am, drinking, dancing and singing "All That Jazz". The original plan was to wait until morning time when the trains ran again to get home without taking the night bus but at 5:30 me & two others, finding it impossible to sleep on the sofas while Barry White and Motown were being blasted out, fell into a taxi and paid for the privledge of getting home. Truly a surreal and fun night and it was all tucked away in a wee corner of Central London, hidden from view.

On Friday night we were back at the theatre for it's annual Christmas party. I loved it last year and I loved it this year. I also tried Apple & Mango J2O for the first time and found it delish. I failed miserabley on the party games, but had fun with my play mates and us singing around a piano. Most of us left around 12am this time to get home. I was too tired form a week of averaging 4 hours sleep each night to push myself to party through the night this time.

Now my play is finished (rehearsals have already begun for the next one!), the parties are over (until Friday night) and work is winding down, it's shocking to think that next week will be Christmas Day. I still have presents to buy and need to sort out my tickets home for the holidays. Despite having to return to my MADHOUSE where my family live, I'm looking forward to going home and sleeping. I think I'm delibertly holding back from a really good lie-in so I can take it at my parents house and hopefully avoid the chaos happening below me.

I have more to say but I've off out ice-skating with some of the cast in 10 mins. Half of us don't have tickets for the rink but we're hoping that other people may have pulled out at the last minute freeing up some tickets. If not, we plan to get drunk (for me, on Coca-Cola) around the rink and gossip.

Back later.

I Lied

I didn't go to yoga class after all last night. It got to 7:15pm and I realised that I wasn't really in the mood for stretching and sweating uncontrolably. I also realised that I'd miss Secret Diary of a Call Girl so decided to call it a day and head home. I'll definitely go tonight. My studio has just begun doing Friday Night Yoga Class by Candlelight and I'm quite curious to see what that's like. I imagine it to be very relaxing which is exactly what I need in preparation for a busy day tomorrow. Too much to do and not enough time to do it all in. I was looking forward to a rest once I finish my play next Saturday but there's still the matter of my entire flat needing redoecorating and I'll need to get started on that soon if I'm going to be finished in time for my sister's visit in early December. Of course, after next Saturday I'll be commiting more to the rehearsals for the December play so that'll eat up a lot of my time too. It looks as if the rest of 2007 will be divided between rehearsals and decorating. When am I supposed to have some fun and relax?

Waiting For Yoga Class

It's past 6pm but I'm still in work and killing time until my 8pm yoga class. I usually leave earlier on Thursday but I came in late this morning as I needed an extra hour in bed so I'm making it up now. It's been such a draining week, I received some news from home about my brother's friend who died on Monday (after being in a car crash) and was upset by that. I knew him since he was a child and my little brother and all his friends are still 10 years old in my eyes. It wasn't until someone at worked describe it as "losing another wee brother" that I understood why it affected me so much. Tuesday was then emotional but I went to rehearsal which was long and labourious and had me throwing myself on the ground repeatedly as I was trying to get a stunt just right and done in the safest way possible. It's also been bitterly cold this week and stepping outside is quite a shock to the system. It's time to invest in some thermal underwear and a good pair of shoes/boots in preparation for November - February. I also need a good winter coat but I'm trying not to succumb to the usual black/grey coats on sale at the moment. I'm considering a long, yellow coat that I can partially pay for with some gift vouchers. I'm just wondering if I have the guts to wear it. It's certainly different and I was planning to inject a bit of colour into my winter wardrobe this year.

Despite feeling absolutely shattered, I'm still pushing myself to go to my Bikram yoga classes. I always feel good about them and there's something tempting about lying in a hot room when it's horribly cold outside. I went last night with the plan to try the best I could but if it got too much to rest and lie down for the rest of the class. However, upon arriving at the studio we found out that they would be a photographer in class. I thought this would be a good reason for me to work hard in my class, as I didn't want to turn up on any pics collapsing on the floor in a sweaty, red, mess, but I actually found the class easier than I expected it to be and felt much better at the end than I did at the start. I'm going again tonight and hope it will have the same effect.

I'm trying to get in a couple more yoga classes as next week I'll be busy doing my play everynight of the week and won't have time to workout then. I'm sure I will love doing the performances but I'm looking forward to having a rest when it's over and actually find more time in my life. I'll be rehearsing another play hroughout November but the location of the theatre/rehearsal space is much more convienent for me and I'll actually get home at a reasonable hour each night. I plan to get to the theatre a bit more in November as I still haven't seen Rent or Hairspray in the West End yet. I also haven't seen Wicked since July 17th which is absurd and unheard of for me to have such a long gap between viewings. The SHAME!!!!

Not Dead... Just Floating.

I'm not dead but at the moment I'm not feeling well. Tiredness, cold, funny going-ons inside and my head feels bunged up which in turn makes me feel disconnected from the real world.
I don't know where the time has gone these past few weeks. We're now rehearsing our comedy play 3 times a week now (as opening night is October 30th) which is the only constant ouside of work. However I still manage to fill up every day/evening with something and I'm not sure what.

I can count for some days, the fundraiser party I helped organise on Sept 26th, the Darren Hayes concert on Oct 3rd, going to see a play and support friends from another theatre company last Saturday etc. I also started back at Bikram yoga last week (to help detox, de-stress, regulate my emotions and get more energy) but I'm having difficulty fitting in regular sessions. I guess in between everything I've been sleeping and when I've not been sleeping, I've been buying shoes. Then I've slept some more. That seems to sum up the past 3 weeks.

Rehearsals start tonight for the December play and as knackered and tired as I am, I'm looking forward to it. I love the company, the people and the theatre and rehearsals space is in a really convienent place that's easy to get home from. Knowing me, I'll be moaning about "bloody rehearsals" in 5-6 weeks times but I always seem to do that. Rehearsals are alright, but it's the performance nights that I LOVE.

Speaking of performing, I need to do a lot of updating about all the Prince concerts and aftershow I attended since I last blogged. I'm thinking of making the whole experience into a report which I might so this weekend (no rehearsal on Saturday - Yay!). Something big happened and as soon as I feel better I need to reconnect with it and the inspiration it gave me. I also need to sing again (as soon as my cold ends). I'm doing two plays at the moment but I need to get a bit of music back in my life. I feel that more today that i have done lately. I'd love to be involved in a music/choir performance near Christmas so I'm on the lookout for something that suits at the moment.

I'm also looking forward to the next month or two as a lot of my favourite artists will be releasing music (Alicia Keys, Britney, India.Arie) and I can't wait to hear it all. I'm enjoying the thought of the rest of this rest going by in a flurry of music and performance and finding the time to have some singing lessons and to finally book a piano lesson... or five!