Friday 29 February 2008

Filling The Void

With the musical over and my leg feeling better and me getting some energy back into this body, my thoughts can now fully turn too the near future. Not that I've ever NOT thought about what's coming up next in my life but I've survived nearly two weeks with rehearsals or performing so I think I can last just a little longer.

I've already got two shows in mind that I want to work on (well, 3 actually but as the director of that play is slowly recovering from an illness, we're still a little unsure if his show is still going ahead). The first is a musical and the auditions are this Sunday. It will certainly be an interesting audition as I haven't set foot back into their rehearsals rooms since I had the Worst Audition Ever there 18 months ago and for 1 minute I decided to give up performance as I momentarily believed that I'd never be any good. Obviously I got over that and went on to bigger and brighter things and I will have to take those with me into the audition room this weekend and gain strentgh from that. I've sung in public now, on stage, in front of maybe 300-ish people altogether and I didn't die. Nothing bad happened. I even surprised a few people who didn't know I could sing. So I have nothing to be afraid of this Sunday. I can sing in front of others, I have a good audition song and I know I can sing it well. I just have to hope ghosts of auditions past don't show up.

The next show is a play with a company I have not yet worked with. The character I am very interested in has been described as "bonkers yet fiesty" which sounds like something I could easily do. The audition's not for another couple of weeks so I've got time to psycho myself up for it and practise a bit of self-hypnosis and "big up" myself.

In the meantime I seem to be keeping myself busy with training, piano lessons, theatre trips (and the Alicia Keys concert tonight!) and other random interests. I'm giving serious consideration to seperate acting and singing courses that I think will be a big help to me. I'm also keen to get writing again, just for fun, so I'm reading a lot more than usual and am looking out for a creative writing workshop/course to help me get started again. There seems to be so much I want to do right now and even though there is now show looming on the horizon, I still seem to be short of time to get everything done. I like it though. Maybe I'm compensating for lacking something else in my life but I like to constantly move forward and aim towards something. The marathon is a huge goal to work towards yet I'm still not satisfied by that. The creative side of me needs to keep moving at all times. Even in times of rest.

Tuesday 26 February 2008

After Show, Aftermath

I'm slowly getting over the events of the past two week. Slowly. I spent last week in a trance as I was so run down from doing the show the week before and I still had a busy evening schedule. Nothing ever really changes. I was also in quite a bit of pain due to a mishap at the aftershow party so that was quite draining and depressing too. More on that later.

The rest of the show run carried on without any drama until the final day. It was Saturday, we had two shows to do that day and most of us singing solos were lsoing our voices. I wasnt too bad as I didn't have a big chuck of solo bits to sing and my throat was in not as bad a state as some other, but I was still extremely worried especially as my friends were all coming to the evening show to see me, including Kelly who was flying in from home that afternoon to see me. I got through the matinee (one of the othe cast member's songs had to be cut to save her voice for the later show), I sang my song and I managed to croak out something half respectable. A few people backstage told me it still sounded good so I felt a bit comforted by that.

Then came the evening show as it really was quite unbelieveable. I had such a good run up to then and felt I gave good performances, however everything seemed to go wrong in my scenes on that final show. Props didn't work so we had to improvise, doors wouldn't shut that needed to be shut, some old woman fell flat on her face during one of our song & dance numbers, I messed up my lines a bit at one moment and had to recover from that. I felt quite annoyed at myself for jumping to the next line and did feel like tearing up in the interval, but it's something to learn from. I must remember to forbid my friends with big booming laughs to laugh when I am onstage as this can be quite distracting! I guess it all had to go wrong for me in at least one show, it will be something I can look back on and laugh about. The important thing is that the audience, unless they'd been to a previous show, didn't notice the mishaps so we seemed to do a good job or working around them.

Like with my play in December, we had another all night aftershow party. Cheesy music, alcohol (cola for me) and outrageous dancing. It was there I did myself a mischief. If doing a backward bend and falling on my head wasn't enough I then threw myself into doing the splits, however as I was wearing no shoes this time, I slid down faster than expected and pulled a hamstring. The rest of the night was spent with me limping around in pain and the odd outburst of freaking out about what my personal trainer would say. By 5:30am the party had definitely died down into a group of drunk people just biding their time in the theatre until the tube opened and we could all go home. Yet, by the time us sober/semi-sober people tidied and cleaned the theatre and rounded up everyone else, it was 8am when we finally left. After making it home with Kelly I passed out on the sofabed and snoozed for a couple of hours before getting up again, determined not to waste the day.

I took Monday off as I was in no state to work and on Tuesday I made my way to my personal training session waiting for my punishment. Lots of upper body work and a good hamstring stretch-out and the advice "don't be the hero" followed. Luckily now my leg is feeling much better (although I won't officially recover for another fortnight) and I'm getting back into my training schedule. I need to make up time out of action last week and with no show to do now and more time on my hands it's going to get a lot tougher. Help!

Pics of the show will follow as will a lot on pondering on what to do now, what to read, what acting course to take, should I try creative writing etc. I'm on a roll and I want it to stay that way.

Thursday 14 February 2008

Mid-Show Run Report

I've just had my yummy banana porridge and wholemeal toast breakfast and am now sipping some Raspberry & Echinacea tea and trying to stay healthy while I procrastinate (instead of sorting out that report I was approached about yesterday). Yesterday morning I woke up completely shattered and was so tired throughout the entire day. This morning I feel a little better. Still tired, which is to be expected with a schedule like mine at the moment, but just getting out of bed alone did not exhaust me so that's an improvement.

I still have 4 more shows to do and I'm looking forward to doing them all even though it feels like I've done the entire run already. Opening night went well despite nerves a a slight technical hitch in one of the scenes (not mine). When i had a moment to pause I did find myself feeling sick with nerves at having to singing solo (in places) in front of an audience, but when it came time to do it I pulled it off, surprising a couple of people who knew me but didn't know I could sing. That was encouraging and I was raring to go sing again on the second night of the show. Come Saturday night I will be probably be sick with nerves again as I'll have quite a few friends in the audience watching me and anticipating my singing number. Eeeek! I have to remember that I've sung in public now and I didn't die so what the worst that can happen when I sing again?

Despite the tiredness and other things.stresses in my life I am really happy to be doing this and the thrill of every show just reminds me why I love doing this so much and why I put myself through all this. I hope this year I can finally take a big step away from the corporate life and move closer to the creative life.

Monday 11 February 2008

Don't Stop Moving

As I didn't have the chance to do it at the weekend, I went for my 30 minute non-stop running at lunchtime today. I was pleasently surprised at how I coped with it. It seemed to be a lot easier than the last time I did it/ Even though I wasn't in a pretty state near the end it wasn't as painful as the last time and I noticed that it took longer for me to feel out of breath and I didn't feel shattered upon completing the 30 minutes (am feelign a little sleepy at the moment but it's nt a quick walk won't sort out). I'm hoping it wasn't a fluke and that the small amount of training that I've done so far is paying off. I'm more excited about my future runs and am raring to go. However, I need to not wear myself out, especially this week.

I had a busy weekend filled with rehearsals, dance rehearsals and a very long tech rehearsal. We spent 11 hours at the theatre last night and wI as so over-tired that I had to do the splits and joke about slang words (for ladies private parts!) repeatedly to keep me sane. I also did my fair share of socialising at the weekend too. What's wrong with me? I'm becoming normal! On Friday night the cast of our show all had dinner out at an Indian restaurant which was delicious and afterwards went to the pub for drinks and gossip. I should have taken it easy on Saturday night but meet up with some friends (from my previous show) and we went out for Lebanese food. At the restaurant we proceeded to have the filthiest conversation that the other diners ever had the misfortune to hear and I doubt that we will be allowed back in the establishment next time. It was such a laugh though and well worth buring the candle at both ends and spending too much money for.

Today is Monday which means that after work I have the dress rehearsal which hopefully won't go on too late, after which I will be racing home for some serious Zzzzzzs in preparation of the first performance tomorrow night. Work, run, perform, work, run, perform.... will be the plan for the next 5 days. Hopefully I'll be able to fit eating, washing and sleeping in somewhere. Wish me luck!

Wednesday 6 February 2008

Marathon Training Stuff

I've got about 10/15 minutes to kill here before I head off to the gym for my daily-ish run. I guess I can now say that training for the marathon is well underway and with less than 10 weeks to do I should hope so!

Training by myself was getting me nowhere fast so I'm paying precious pounds for a personal trainer and as expensive as he is/will be I feel much more confident about running the marathon now for doing it. I've always given up running and turned into a wheezing mess after a couple of minutes but on Friday I was astonished to complete a 30 minute run without stopping. The difference here was that my trainer never left the treadmill while I was on it and was noting down my heartrate at various times to gain an accurate reading of my fitness so I felt that I had no choice but to keep on running. I have learned that as tired as I may feel initially, not to give up straight away. If I do that I may just surprise myself.

So now I have a training plan and a weekly workout session with the trainer which I must rigidly stick to if I'm to have any hope of crossing that finishing line at 26.2 miles with my limbs and health still intact. I need to do a walk-run Monday to Thursday, have Friday off, do a non-stop 30 min un on Saturdays and then a long (1-2 hours) walk-run on Sundays. God knows how I'm going to stick to this next week with my show taking place Tuesday - Saturday on top of my full-time job. I'll also have to find time to rest and sleep on top of all this so I'm in good form the running and shows. I'll find a way.

After next weekend finding time to train should be a lot easier as for the first time in 8 months I will not be rehearsing and/or performing in a show. I'm slightly agitated about this but I need to realise that it's for the best and I CAN have a little break from doing shows at times. I just need to abstain for 2 months then after April 13th I can sing, dance and act until my wee heart's content!