Filling The Void

With the musical over and my leg feeling better and me getting some energy back into this body, my thoughts can now fully turn too the near future. Not that I've ever NOT thought about what's coming up next in my life but I've survived nearly two weeks with rehearsals or performing so I think I can last just a little longer.

I've already got two shows in mind that I want to work on (well, 3 actually but as the director of that play is slowly recovering from an illness, we're still a little unsure if his show is still going ahead). The first is a musical and the auditions are this Sunday. It will certainly be an interesting audition as I haven't set foot back into their rehearsals rooms since I had the Worst Audition Ever there 18 months ago and for 1 minute I decided to give up performance as I momentarily believed that I'd never be any good. Obviously I got over that and went on to bigger and brighter things and I will have to take those with me into the audition room this weekend and gain strentgh from that. I've sung in public now, on stage, in front of maybe 300-ish people altogether and I didn't die. Nothing bad happened. I even surprised a few people who didn't know I could sing. So I have nothing to be afraid of this Sunday. I can sing in front of others, I have a good audition song and I know I can sing it well. I just have to hope ghosts of auditions past don't show up.

The next show is a play with a company I have not yet worked with. The character I am very interested in has been described as "bonkers yet fiesty" which sounds like something I could easily do. The audition's not for another couple of weeks so I've got time to psycho myself up for it and practise a bit of self-hypnosis and "big up" myself.

In the meantime I seem to be keeping myself busy with training, piano lessons, theatre trips (and the Alicia Keys concert tonight!) and other random interests. I'm giving serious consideration to seperate acting and singing courses that I think will be a big help to me. I'm also keen to get writing again, just for fun, so I'm reading a lot more than usual and am looking out for a creative writing workshop/course to help me get started again. There seems to be so much I want to do right now and even though there is now show looming on the horizon, I still seem to be short of time to get everything done. I like it though. Maybe I'm compensating for lacking something else in my life but I like to constantly move forward and aim towards something. The marathon is a huge goal to work towards yet I'm still not satisfied by that. The creative side of me needs to keep moving at all times. Even in times of rest.