... of my current job today. Maybe the end of an era. I don't have another job lined up just yet and although it's not the ideal situation, I'm trying not to worry to much but stay positive and keep applying and be on the look out for more opportunities. Maybe I'll end up back in the financial sector again in a job that stimulates little but pays reasonable or maybe I'll find something a little more creative this time and have a break from the norm. Come Monday I'll be part of one job agency's "Breafast Temps" group and sitting in their office getting fed, trained and waiting for a phonecall from a company who desperately needs a temp to start work asap. It will mean missing out on such brilliant breakfast TV such as the Jeremy Kyle show (hmmmm) but it has to be done. Can't rot in my flat waiting for the jobs to come to me.
Before all that however, there's the weekend which is shaping up to be a busy one. I've got an audition tonight (dance), an extras casting tomorrow morning/afternoon followed by another audition (musical #1). On Sunday I have an audition for another musical (#2) and possible a callback in the afternoon if I performed well enough on Saturday in musical #1's audition. Fingers crossed something good comes out of all this. With the job ending, crazy neighbours, not being sucessful in other auditions etc. I think it's time something went my way. I have to make it happen!
Friday 27 February 2009
Tuesday 24 February 2009
Letter That Your Name Begins With Questionaire
Sorry there's not a catchier name for this. I saw it on Facebook ages ago and had it saved, unfinished, as a draft so am finally posting it here:
1. What is your name: Imelda
2. A four-letter word: Iris
3. A boy's name: Ian
4. A girl's name: Imogen
5. An occupation: Illustrator
6. A color: Indigo
7. Something you wear: Ice Hockey gear
8. A beverage: Iced Tea
9. A food: Iced Buns
10. Something found in the bathroom: Ingrown hairs?
11. A place: Iceland
12. A reason for being late: I was stuck in traffic.
13. Something you shout: Idiot!
1. What is your name: Imelda
2. A four-letter word: Iris
3. A boy's name: Ian
4. A girl's name: Imogen
5. An occupation: Illustrator
6. A color: Indigo
7. Something you wear: Ice Hockey gear
8. A beverage: Iced Tea
9. A food: Iced Buns
10. Something found in the bathroom: Ingrown hairs?
11. A place: Iceland
12. A reason for being late: I was stuck in traffic.
13. Something you shout: Idiot!
This Way Up î
With everything being up in the air at the minute (job, accommodation etc) I'm finding it hard to focus on any specific points and write them down. My mood changes hour to hour, day to day. I can start the day off positive and come midday I'm writing emails of despair and frustration and stress to my friends. Or vice-versa. At the moment I'm feeling good but expect that to change, and then change back again.
There's no word yet of a new job to start once my current job ends (on Friday) but I'm trying to not stress out too much about that. I have crazy neighbours that fight with eah other and threaten to commit suicide on my doorstep, yet another sign that I should move. I also went to another audition and despite getting a callback I eventually did not get the part. C'est la vie! I must remain positive despite everything.
I've found a couple of new projects I want to get involved in. Two of them are dance troupes which I will audition for in the upcoming weeks and the third is dance-related too. My friend is throwing a danceathon fundraising event in a couple of weeks and naturally I will be taking part, from helping with the organisation to dancing for hours on end on the night. It's going to be a fun, tiring and interesting evening. I'm hoping that by the time this takes place I will be settled in a new job, new place, ready to get stuck into another rehearsal process and feeling a lot more focused.
There's no word yet of a new job to start once my current job ends (on Friday) but I'm trying to not stress out too much about that. I have crazy neighbours that fight with eah other and threaten to commit suicide on my doorstep, yet another sign that I should move. I also went to another audition and despite getting a callback I eventually did not get the part. C'est la vie! I must remain positive despite everything.
I've found a couple of new projects I want to get involved in. Two of them are dance troupes which I will audition for in the upcoming weeks and the third is dance-related too. My friend is throwing a danceathon fundraising event in a couple of weeks and naturally I will be taking part, from helping with the organisation to dancing for hours on end on the night. It's going to be a fun, tiring and interesting evening. I'm hoping that by the time this takes place I will be settled in a new job, new place, ready to get stuck into another rehearsal process and feeling a lot more focused.
Sunday 15 February 2009
Blah!
Going through an interesting time at the moment in my life. The kind where you continually fail auditions and learn that your job contract will not be renewed at the end of the month.
Despite this I'm going to be positive. I spent too much time stressed out last year and it just made me sick.
Despite this I'm going to be positive. I spent too much time stressed out last year and it just made me sick.
Wednesday 11 February 2009
Sunday 8 February 2009
Saying No
Yesterday I called the director of You're A Good Man Charlie Brown , the show I was recently given a small part in, and told him that I would be dropping out. My friends will know that this has been a big issue and something I've talked about non-stop this past week. As I said previously I was cast in a "supporting role" which means that as there are only 6 characters in the show, the director decided to make up some roles which would involved us standing around at the back of the stage and uttering the odd word here and there. Or petting Snoopy at one point.
I accepted the role because a couple of friends cast in the same parts wanted me to do it but after the first rehearsal it was clear that I was going to be wasted in a support role. I spent that evening shaking with anger as it became clear just how much I was fobbed off with this role and it clearly would not be worth my time playing it. In terms of talent there was clearly no difference between me and the lead female (except she has an authentic American accent and I "only" have a really good fake American accent) so I am left very confused at what the deciding factor was. The director himself knows (or should know) from his own personal experience that I am a loyal (to the show and the company), dependable and GOOD performer with energy & charisma on stage. That's the collective opinion of a group of people who had seen & worked with me so I do not have an over-inflated opinion of myself.
For the first time ever I STRONGLY had a lot of faith in myself and was confident I could carry off a lead role and excel at it. I'm extremely frustrated that people who should know me don't have the same faith in me. However I refuse to let that shoot down the little confidence I have built up in me. I've paid my dues to this company over the years and it hasn't paid off. I seems I will always be typecast in the small, support roles that no one else wants to do. I am now determined to move on from this and progress. I even went to an emergency audition for a role in another production (their lead female performer has gone awol) last night. I was a bit nervous which did affect some of my singing but pulled it together for the big crescendo, the harmonies and the acting part so although not 100% perfect, definitely not bad either. Worthy of a lead in YAGMCB for sure. Still waiting for the outcome of that audition and while it would be fantastic to get the part, it is a huge & demanding role so I understand if I didn't quite make the grade this time.
Final note: My friends have been amazing to me throughout all this. I hope I can show them the same support in their career/personal goals as they have shown me.
I accepted the role because a couple of friends cast in the same parts wanted me to do it but after the first rehearsal it was clear that I was going to be wasted in a support role. I spent that evening shaking with anger as it became clear just how much I was fobbed off with this role and it clearly would not be worth my time playing it. In terms of talent there was clearly no difference between me and the lead female (except she has an authentic American accent and I "only" have a really good fake American accent) so I am left very confused at what the deciding factor was. The director himself knows (or should know) from his own personal experience that I am a loyal (to the show and the company), dependable and GOOD performer with energy & charisma on stage. That's the collective opinion of a group of people who had seen & worked with me so I do not have an over-inflated opinion of myself.
For the first time ever I STRONGLY had a lot of faith in myself and was confident I could carry off a lead role and excel at it. I'm extremely frustrated that people who should know me don't have the same faith in me. However I refuse to let that shoot down the little confidence I have built up in me. I've paid my dues to this company over the years and it hasn't paid off. I seems I will always be typecast in the small, support roles that no one else wants to do. I am now determined to move on from this and progress. I even went to an emergency audition for a role in another production (their lead female performer has gone awol) last night. I was a bit nervous which did affect some of my singing but pulled it together for the big crescendo, the harmonies and the acting part so although not 100% perfect, definitely not bad either. Worthy of a lead in YAGMCB for sure. Still waiting for the outcome of that audition and while it would be fantastic to get the part, it is a huge & demanding role so I understand if I didn't quite make the grade this time.
Final note: My friends have been amazing to me throughout all this. I hope I can show them the same support in their career/personal goals as they have shown me.
Thursday 5 February 2009
White Outside, Black Inside
I haven't been feeling myself all week and I'm getting very frustrated by it. I'm lacking energy and motivation. Gone it the positivity & optimisim I had at the start of the year and replaced by a big black cloud.
I had a weekend of let-downs and things not going to plan. I didn't get the part I wanted in the I auditioned for last week and have been feeling quite irritated since I learned of the outcome. I've agreed to participate in the show in a smaller role but the excitment about the show in general has gone. (I also auditioned for a small show on Sunday but haven't heard anything from the director so I assume I was not successful with that one too).
I've also spent the past couple of days wondering why I'm wasting my life and why nothing's changed and worrying that nothing will. I continue to fret about money, work etc. and my time just drains away and another year has passed and I'm stll no closer to getting what I want. Last night I had to remind myself that my original and biggest ambition was to sing. Even though I agressively pursued a major singing role in this recent show, singing itself (and writing to an extent) seems to have got lost among stressing, health problems, finding a new place to live, trying to get out of the red etc. Where did I go to?
I'm hoping this weekend will make up for this week. I'm being a total social butterfly and having wine* and a gossip at a friend's new flat, cinema with girls on Saturday and a dinner party on Sunday. I've also got to try to fit in a couple of flatviewings in too, so it's looking busy.
(*= yes, I don't drink wine but I will have the non-alcoholic equivilant)
Hopefully things will look up soon. This could be the long, dark winter finally taking effect, the disruption of normal life due to the freak snowstorms we've had plus I'm also waiting to hear word about my job contract this month. Fingers crossed we all get it renewed this month!
I had a weekend of let-downs and things not going to plan. I didn't get the part I wanted in the I auditioned for last week and have been feeling quite irritated since I learned of the outcome. I've agreed to participate in the show in a smaller role but the excitment about the show in general has gone. (I also auditioned for a small show on Sunday but haven't heard anything from the director so I assume I was not successful with that one too).
I've also spent the past couple of days wondering why I'm wasting my life and why nothing's changed and worrying that nothing will. I continue to fret about money, work etc. and my time just drains away and another year has passed and I'm stll no closer to getting what I want. Last night I had to remind myself that my original and biggest ambition was to sing. Even though I agressively pursued a major singing role in this recent show, singing itself (and writing to an extent) seems to have got lost among stressing, health problems, finding a new place to live, trying to get out of the red etc. Where did I go to?
I'm hoping this weekend will make up for this week. I'm being a total social butterfly and having wine* and a gossip at a friend's new flat, cinema with girls on Saturday and a dinner party on Sunday. I've also got to try to fit in a couple of flatviewings in too, so it's looking busy.
(*= yes, I don't drink wine but I will have the non-alcoholic equivilant)
Hopefully things will look up soon. This could be the long, dark winter finally taking effect, the disruption of normal life due to the freak snowstorms we've had plus I'm also waiting to hear word about my job contract this month. Fingers crossed we all get it renewed this month!
Monday 2 February 2009
White Stuff!
I didn't make it to work this morning due to the snow. After discovering that there were/are no buses at all I decided to trek out to the train station. No trains. So then I decided to trek further on to the tube station. Tube station closed and lines suspended. I turned around and I'm now back home trying to heat up my ice-box flat and torn between taking a full day off or making some effort to try to get in for the afternoon and show my manager that I made some effort today. Which I already have I think. I walked a lot today already which is not easy when more than ankle-deep in snowed and fell on my arse a couple of times.
I lack proper food in my flat so I may be driven to go outside and wade through the snow to the nearest corner shop. All I want to do right now is have a snooze. In my coat, scarf & boots. I'm still wearing then as it's not warm enough to go without them.
I lack proper food in my flat so I may be driven to go outside and wade through the snow to the nearest corner shop. All I want to do right now is have a snooze. In my coat, scarf & boots. I'm still wearing then as it's not warm enough to go without them.
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