Up All Night

My task today is to give myself eyedrops every hour for 24 hours. Yes, that means throughout the night too so there is zero chance I'll get any decent sleep tonight. I don't actually mind too much because if this is what has to be done to prevent a repeat of my hospital stay in August then I'll do it.

The doctors yesterday decided that I should have my cornea scraped to eliminate the threat of a new infection flaring up which is how I spent my Saturday afternoon. Despite it feeling a little less painful that it had been and the doctor nothing that it looked better I still have some anesthetic whacked in my eye and then random needles and cotton wool swabs run over my eye to collect cells for analysis. Note: the "needles" were used length-ways and looked more like kirby grips. I wasn't being stabbed with them. Despite the anestheic I could still feel something, whetther is was pressure or tenderness and as soon as the doctor left the room for the moment I did have to have a cry. Not so much for the pain (because it wasn't too painful) but more for feeling a little bit violated and having to sit through something like that. I probably sound overdramatic but I didn't expect it to affect me that way.

So I've been putting the eye drops in since 2pm and will continue to do so until tomorrow afternoon. I have to go back in the morning so see what they grew from my swabs (if anything) and to decide upon the next course of action. The doctor thinks I could just need to get back on my steroid drops but we have to treat it as if there's an infection there until we can rule that out.

It's frustrating as I just want this to go away as quick as possible so I can continue with life and move on. I just want to get on with my new job (was there for 1 day before I got sick again) and earn some money and get back into a routine again. I want to look and feel good again so I can continue with all my performance plans (I had to cancel a casting for a chocolate advert this week becuase of the eruption in my eye socket). I really want the light sensitivity to go which will make working life and performing life so much easier to do.

I just have to be patient. Which is hard for me to do. Meh.